《英语散文》What Women Dont Understand About Guys

Contrary to what many women believe, it's easy to develop a long-time ,intimate and mutually ful-filling relationship with a guy. Of course, the guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys, it's extremely dif-ficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what women mean by the word relationship.
Let's say a guy named Roger asks a woman named Elaine out to a movie. She accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and soon neither is seeing anybody else.

Then one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine. She says:"Do you realize that we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

Silence fills the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself:"Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he feels confined by our relationship. Maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation."

And Roger is thinking:"Gosh, Six months."

And Elaine is thinking:"But hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?"

And Roger is thinking:"So that means it was ...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here."

And Elaine is thinking:"He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship--more intimacy, more commitment. Maybe he senses m reservations. Yes, that's it. He's afraid of being rejected."

And Roger is thinking:"I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say--it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on cold weather this time. It's 30 degrees Celsius out, and this thingis shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent, thieving cretins six hundred dollars!"

And Elaine is thinking:"He's angry, and I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. I feel sl guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure."

And Roger is thinking:"They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's what they're gonna say!"

And Elaine is thinking:"Maybe I'm too idealistic, waiting for a knigt to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting mext to a perfectly good person who's in pain because of my self-centered, school-girl fantasy."

And Roger is thinking:"Warranty? I'll give them a warranty!"

“Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger.

"I'm such a fool," Elaine says, sobbong. "I mean, I know there's no knight and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?"says Roger.

"you think I'm fool,don't you?" Elaine says.

"No!" Roger says, glad to know the correct answer.

"It's just that...I need some tine," Elaine says.

There is a 15-second pause while Roger tries to come up with a safe response. "yes," he finally says.